With jobs, hectic schedules, kids and activities, we don't make an effort to keep the romance going by dating each other and going on vacations. Spending that quality time together is so important, to stay connected as a couple. Just because you've been in a relationship or have been married for many years, doesn't mean you can't keep it interesting and fun by dating each other and going on excursions.  I am a hopeless romantic and I like to sometimes pretend, that I am on my first date with my husband Doug. We both have a saying,  "treat each other like when we just first met."  Spending time is much easier for us, now that I'm retired and our children are all grown up.  However, for some people its difficult finding the time to spend couple time without kids in tow. If there is a will, there is a way. Keep it simple, make it a lunch date or coffee in the morning. Schedule it in your calendar to reserve the time and treat it with the same gravitas as a real work appointment—in other words, make a reservation and be sure to dress to impress. On that day, there’s no emailing or texting back and forth about other obligations. And stick to date-friendly topics, like movies, travel, or the hobby you’d like to try.  Perhaps discussing future dates or intimate time in the bedroom. On our twenty-fifth wedding annivesary, I found a trail of rose pedals leading to the bedroom and on the bed, the pedals were arranged into a heart. I had a friend that was surprised by her husband with a romantic candlelit dinner, dining table and chairs on their favorite beach.  Keep it romantic, be spontaneous and have fun.

I once met a elderly couple and I noticed that they were very affectionate and loving towards each other. They were clearly in a healthy relationship. I figured it was a new realtionship, assuming that they met after losing their spouses. Much to my surprise, they were marreid to each other for over sixty years! I asked them what their secret was to a successful marriage. They both looked at each other and said, "We made sure to date each other and put each other first over the kids. Don't get us wrong, we loved our kids and made sure they knew that and that all their needs were met, but we knew that they would grow up and leave the nest and we didn't want to be strangers after the kids left. We have seen many friends' marriages fail because they never made time for one another and only focused on the kids and their jobs, that they didn't even really know each other any more. They were basically strangers." Since then, I've met many couples that have said the same thing. So I made it a point to remind my husband that we need to get busy making our couple time, keeping connected. Because of this, our marriage is stronger than ever. I am happy to say that my husband is my bestfriend and I look forward and enjoy being with him. 

Time together as a couple, builds intimacy, opens communication and strengthens your bond, which in turn strengthens your marriage or relationship.  You never want to set-up your children for failure in their future relationships. So when your children see you and your spouse or partner happy together, showing each other that you value one another, it will provide your children with that sense of security and a good example of what a healthy relationship looks like.

Although quantity is important, its the quality of the time spent together, even during family time. Never argue, disagree, undermine or disrepect one another, especially in front of the children. Make good memories.